John's World-Wasting away in Margarita-ville...



"Chinese" fishing nets
I’m driving away from the Bengaluru airport. It’s 5:15 in the afternoon. I look up at the sky and see the sun shining through the clouds. I’m returning from a week in the beach city of Kochi. The car slips into the ether thick with honking horns and billboards of Kareena Kapoor selling everything...

I couldn’t be happier.

I missed Bangalore terribly. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve come to really enjoy my life here. However, after a week in Kochi, I have discovered I’m a “inlander”.

Don’t get me wrong. Kochi is a nice place. No traffic. Interesting historical sites. Lots of food options. So what I’m about to say isn’t a reflection on Kochi in particular .
Old naval steam tanks of Fort Cochin Beach


Kochi’s problem is that it’s a beach town and I am not a beach person.  Honestly you could insert any beach town into this.

So many people find beach living to be the apex of vacationing. Here I am presenting to you some reasons why I have discovered I’m an “inland” man.

Never boring for them


The ambiance-These guys in the picture may think that sand is fun.  It is.  I can take a walk on the beach.  A sandcastle/sand Barbie Dreamhouse/sand Stamford Bridge Stadium is a great activity.  However, you enter into a tricky contract with beach going.  The sand is everywhere.  Haven't you ever noticed how much it stays with you until you come home.  I wear it, sleep in it, and even unfortunately have to eat it from time to time.   Worse, beach towns don't really smell like beaches.  They smell like a mix of dead fish, patchouli, trash, and french fries. 





Tourists-The first are the tourists that come to a beach town but don't bother going to the beach.  They come for something else.  A historical site.  A show.  You can tell these poor souls because they are hopelessly out of place, with a camera donning a foot long lens, sweating, with something that looks like prescription sunglasses or what people might wear in space in the future.  Pray for them.
He's only here to see the Palace



Second are the hippie idiots.  These people take to beach town like gadflies on cow manure.  I've seen many a bad tourist in my time.  Obnoxious, over demanding, real bad people.  I find nouveau  hippies to be the worst.  They tend to walk into a place usually with some ignorant stereotype of the place, wear the local clothes the wrong way, and think there is meaning in EVERYTHING.  In the end they are as rigid, judgemental, and close-minded as Joe the Plumber on vacation.
 
One guy was using a dhoti for his dreadlocks
Lastly are the true beach goers.  People who, forever how long, just enjoy some time in the sun. They just want to relax. Do nothing...

My last gripe about beach vacations are "structure-less days".  I like doing "stuff".  Which makes beaches the last place I should go.  Beach lifestyle demands that you wake up when you want, eat whatever, and see pretty much nothing.  

 I've settled back into the villa in Bangalore.  I'm watching my Indian Super League football on a low-definition TV.  I'm anticipating my structured Monday of early mornings, good coffee, and the work day ahead of me.  Santosa-Kannada for "happiness".
these guys were done too
If anyone has any questions for me to answer.  Please email me at jneiswender@hotmail.com with the subject section "Fulbright".  I want to do a question-answer entry.  More questions the better.  I will keep you anonymous.  Okay "RR" from Rosindale ;)

Comments

  1. Brinda TahilianiMarch 4, 2019 at 12:52 AM

    While I share the same thinking as John, I still need a beach day wherever we go. Just one day of unstructuredness. Another reflection, is that I do feel there is a different feeling of local beaches vs beach towns. I now really enjoy going to local beaches with the kids. It is dreamy for them...sand, water, mud. What more could they want.

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