John's World....the end of the "road"

As you all have been reading, this has been an amazing journey.  However, the “Crossroads” isn’t just a geographic location.  Yes, we went to an incredible number of places, met great people, did exciting things we will never forget.  Metaphorically though, the crossroads is about the inner journey as well.  New paths that we all took.  Things we discovered about ourselves.  I came here wanting these things for the kids, for Brinda, and for myself.

For James and Ashram, we allowed for them to discover this wonderful country in all of its many ways.  We gave them chances for discovery.  Nothing more.  The rest was up to them.  I never wanted to bring my kids to this country with the attitude that some have of wanting their children to “learn to appreciate what they have” insinuating that Indians have so little.  I find such assertions bigoted.  I wanted my kids to see the unconditional, agape love the people of this country offer.  Outside the door every morning was a playmate.  Behind the counter at the store was a clerk smiling ear to ear to help them.  Every uncle and auntie gives them a look and a smile as a blessing every single day.  Such riches I have yet to discover in America to the degree they exist here.  Because of the people here, my sons abound in the type of wealth that really matters. 

For Brinda, I wanted her to find identity and confidence in herself.  When we came here to India, she felt neither completely Indian nor completely American.  Yet in the middle of the battle she sometimes had here, she discovered she is the best of both.  She haggled with drivers until their shoulders drooped in submission.  She wore Indian clothes every single day.  She rode her much beloved public bus.  She went to school at an Indian university.  Most of all, she found friends, Indian friends, that accepted her as is.  In short, she didn’t just STAY here.  Brinda LIVED here.  She connected with people.  It’s who you connect with that determines who you are.  Not your language, birthplace, or religion. 

She also still listens to Bon Jovi, wears yoga pants, and can’t wait for a hamburger.  Still American.

For me.  I failed to teach one course.  I made no money.  I didn’t advance one single research project.  I didn’t spend hours mediating. Most people, especially men, AND in both India and the United States found it odd that I go to India in ONLY a support role. 

What did I accomplish?

Nothing and something.

Readers may recall my post about the back patio.  The top floor to villa #51 where I hang the laundry and just sit quietly sometimes for only a few minutes a day before I jump back into the daily household chores.  On that patio I noticed something the other day.  A ficus religiosa sapling growing out of the spout.  Ficus religiosa is also known as the Bodhi Tree, the tree under which Prince Siddhartha sat as he contemplated his existence, eventually attaining Buddhahood. 

No, I didn’t attain Buddhahood there (sorry).  However, ironically, I did gain a life altering perspective on two things.  First, living the belief and not just believing.  In Buddhism, my guru teaches me that “less desire, means less suffering” and that the greatest joy comes in serving other’s needs.  I wanted practically nothing and had the greatest satisfaction of my life here.  Also, when times get tough, there is always time for compassion and helping others.  I yelled less and discovered I had the time to think about the right thing to say.  I didn’t just say I was happy to see others, I was actually happy to see others.  My day, between chores, barely afforded me 15 minutes of ME time.  Yet my mind was locked in on my family and I discovered I had loads of time for THEM time.

Them time.  Thinking about not just what I do for them, but how.  Remembering that whether I am in India or the States I have that space to act with love first.  I live in this world but never have to be consumed by this world.  In this service to them, I am bursting with purpose and self-satisfaction. 

 I was called upon to serve them.  Proudly, I did.  In serving them, I discovered more about them, in discovering more about them, I discovered how to better serve them, and in that, I lost myself BUT discovered ME.  

PHIR MILENGE